Sunday, 11 May 2014

Ugh, You Were Right...

As it is mother’s day today, I am going dedicate this blog to my mother.

This blog is difficult for me to write because it is themed around mothers usually being right. I hate being wrong and am often too stubborn to admit when I am. More likely than not, I change the subject with a smirk on my face to avoid admitting that thing that I hate.

In the last couple of months, I’ve felt badly because I know that my mother has felt as though she was “losing her marbles”. But first, a little background about my mother.  

My mother has hawk-like skills when it comes to tiny details. Maybe this is due to examining patients daily or perhaps she has fallen asleep to one-too-many episodes of CSI. Regardless, you cannot get anything passed this woman. Not only is she keen to detail, but she is very opinionated and fixates about certain things. She will always tell me 100 ways I can potentially die if I tell her I am about to engage in some sort of adventure, activity or social setting. I also know not to sit down at a table in a restaurant before she changes our table for optimal seating. She has her opinion about how the furniture and decorations are set up in my apartment. Like say for instance if I choose to put my couch on one side of apartment and she does not like it. This couch will be the focal point of our conversations for the next month.

Yes, my couch was eventually moved to the other wall. Yes, it did look a lot better on that side. Yes, I hated having to call her and let her know that she was in fact right which ultimately brings me to my story. Since I cannot spend today with my mother, I feel as though gifting her piece of mind will suffice.

Even though this winter was unbearably cold my apartment felt like the bayou. My building manager recommended that I leave my windows open, which is exactly what I did. My mother warned me that if I kept my windows open, my pipes may freeze. She warned me on the phone. She warned me on Skype. She warned me via e-mail. Let me take a minute to declare my love of technology and its infinite possibilities and platforms mothers can use it in order to nag. Sorry, "reinforce their concerns". Of course, being stubborn and overheated, I did not listen to thousands of concerns voiced my way.

After a few months of reminders and a visit to Toronto, I received this e-mail:
 Of course I ignored it. I also ignored and changed the subject when my mother asked me about the radiator when we were chatting on the phone. 

So, here comes the most difficult part of writing this blog: The Truth. 

You see, one blizzardy night in December, I slept out. Upon returning to open-windowed apartment, I found the following:

 Yes, my goddam pipes froze AND burst. Yes, my sheets were ruined with disgusting, murky radiator water. Yes, the radiator was replaced and is not the original one from the video I sent you when I found it.

So no, Mom, you haven't been losing your marbles; you gave birth to a stubborn ass.

I love you and I really miss spending quality time with you...

Rolling my eyes with you...

And laughing with you when you accidentally eat the Thai chilies in your Pho.

Happy Mother's Day Mommy!


Friday, 11 April 2014

Meet Daryn.


I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the three distinct elements of personality and explain to you why sometimes it is ok embrace your inner Daryn.

Before I jump into it I would like to give some background for the rational of this blog post. Being a psychology graduate and being innately curious about the” why” and “how” behind peoples’ motivations and emotions, I naturally gravitated towards Sigmund Freud’s "Structural Model of the Psyche"

Freud expresses that there are three aspects to your personality: The Id, the Superego and the Ego.

The Id:

The Id is your inner hedonist. The Id is very selfish and wants everything yesterday.  “It is the source of our bodily needs, wants, desires, and impulses, particularly our sexual and aggressive drives. The id contains the libido, which is the primary source of instinctual force that is unresponsive to the demands of reality"[1]. In layman's terms, The Id is your inner douchebag.

The Superego:

The Superego is your Id’s disciplinarian. The Superego is in a constant battle with the Id for being a douchey asshole. This is the part of your personality that integrates the morals and the lessons that your parents taught you. This is also the part of your personality that seeks to please everyone. The Superego will punish you with feelings of guilt.

The Ego:

The Ego is pretty much the mediator in the epic battle between your Id and Superego. The Ego is the element of your personality that is actually expressed in reality; it carries through with an action.

Now, lets bring it all back to me. Yes, MEEEEEEEE.

My Id:

Once upon a time I said “Fuck it!” and embraced my Id. I tried to think of the douchiest name possible and came up with the name “Daryn”. Ugh. Everyone knows a “Daryn”. He is a douche. He is always a douche. But, there is something so very captivating about Daryn. You love to hate him. He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants and always comes out on top. He demands and he receives.  He is fearless, straight-up and hedonistic. Fuckin’ Daryn. You love him and you want to have his douchey children.

crazy stupid love animated GIF

Sometimes Daryn is simply the dopest for Rachellebaz. Sometimes, allowing Daryn to take the reigns have allowed for Rachellebaz to meet amazing and influential people because he simply NEEDED to meet them.

forrest gump animated GIF

There have been times where Rachellebaz has been in a trying situation and Daryn was there (not at all succumbing to any bullshit). Daryn is the tiger emerges when someone approaches Rachellebaz with their claws out.

tiger animated GIF

Daryn is the one who Rachellebaz’s friends come to to text message their love (or whatever you want to call it) interests. Daryn was the one who picked up and moved to Toronto with a week’s notice. Daryn is the one who commands respect.

ryan gosling animated GIF

I wrote this blog to convey the message that sometimes, although you want to please people, you have to embrace Daryn for your internal growth. You have to realize that at the end the day your needs are the ones that have to be satisfied, or you will stagnate.

Yes, my Ego always makes sure that Daryn get totally out of line. Ultimately, Daryn is the driving force for success because he knows what he wants and he goes for it, no matter how difficult and out there it is.



[1]  Carlson, N. R. (19992000). Personality. Psychology: the science of behaviour (Canandian ed., p. 453). Scarborough, Ont.: Allyn and Bacon Canada.

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Valentine’s Day

Hello all

Today I will be speaking about Valentine’s day.

I’d like to open with the following statement:

Can everyone just chill Dafuq out?

I am impartial to Valentine’s Day; If you are single, that’s cool. If you’re in a relationship, that’s cool. If you’re getting it on the regular, that’s cool. Everyday should be Valentine’s day, hold the cheese. Wow, that's the first time I've ever said "hold the cheese" in my life...

There has definitely been a pattern in these postings and they’re siloed into two distinct groups:

The Lovers and The Haters.

I’m not even going to go into what “The Lovers” have posted because quite frankly, internet stranger, I’m not terribly interested about “what I got for my Bae” or how much D you’re going to take in T-2 days. These moments should be intimate moments shared with your one, or many, partners. TMI people, TMI.

HOWEVER …. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t laugh at the sheer desolation in some of “The Haters”’s posts. These pieces of misery have not held back and I praise allah that I get a real-time feed of their thoughts. I’m the type of gal who gets her kicks watching people falling down and, hunny, these people have vertigo.

Jesus, after reading countless posts about Valentine’s day, I’m surprised that there haven’t been any support groups formed.

These are some that I have liked:

The Assassination: 

**Side note: Do you think this is photoshopped or do you think this baby model has a bad case of Stage Mom? Like, do you think a mother saw a posting on Craiglist for "Dead baby Cupid" and thought "y'know, this would be perfect for little Stevey"....

The Grumpy Cat:

The One Who Does Not Quite Understand What A "Sugar Daddy" Is:

The Truth: 

The "Cocoa Intolerant":

The Brighter-Side-of-Things:

The Debbie Downer: 

The Alchoholic:

The RAGING Alcoholic:

The Positively Cynical:

The Emotional Eater:

The "Jesus Is My Valentine":

The Smartest Guy in the World:

The One who is actually crying on the inside:

The One Who Is Going To Be Alone Regardless:

The 50 Shades of Grey:

The "Ain't No Otha Way to Take it":

The One You Don't Want To Laugh At:

The Hashtag:

The Magellan:

The One Who Will Undeniably Be A "Crazy Cat Lady":

The Economist:

The "No Bang Theory":

The Really, Really, Really pathetic post: 

** Can't wait to hear the maid-of-honor speech from Gwendolyn, her imaginary best friend of 43 years....who is also a dinosaur.

The Double-Take:

The Philosopher:

The Wretched Soul:

The Stats:

The One Stop Shop:

Happy Valentine's Day, Ya Filthy Animals!




Thursday, 6 February 2014

Quizup is my heroin


I am not the type of person who downloads games on my iPhone - the concept of Candy Crush and Temple run were never of interest to me because I lose interest very quickly. Hell, the closest thing I've had to a game on my phone was Luminosity.

That was until a friend of mine told me to download Quizup and, goddam, this game has an unholy power over me. I've been wasting more time than an old man in a food court. After being launched only in November, this app has gained 10 million users worldwide.

Today, Techcrunch has reported that Plain Vanilla, the app's developer, has launched a new version of Quizup that is optimized for the iPad. This is good news for all you android users who are unable to download this app in all its glory - I forsee a platform being built for you in the near future.

As for myself, I've become really intense about my matches and they’ve started evoking emotional responses from me the more I play.

1.       Every time I win

2.       Every time I lose

3.       If I accidentally press the wrong answer

4.       How I feel when I unlock a title

5.       How I feel when I gain an achievement

6.       When I beat certain friends, I laugh because I know they’re losing their shit

8.       When I got a perfect score and unlocked the “Zen Master” achievement

9.       When I get the right answer and my opponent gets it wrong

10.   When I think I’m about to win but I lose by one point

11. When its literally taken over my life

12.  Knowing that I don’t want to play when I am under the influence because I am more likely to lose

Let me know what you think and feel free to challenge me. My name is rachellebaz (duh)